Feelings are like good haircolor, part II

Happy New Year, New Moon, New Eclipse Cycle, and Sunday!

Ooh, SO MANY of you loved my Feelings Are Like Good Haircolor note a couple weeks ago.

Thank goodness you're up for analogies!

It's essential to our friendship. :)

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Quick re-cap:

Feelings are like good haircolor because they're multidimensional, not flat.

When we're willing to feel them, we discover

highlights

low tones

that they shimmer and shift as we look at them.

Now Part II:

Feelings are like good haircolor

because YOU CAN CHANGE THEM.

Subtly, or dramatically.

Yes, you can.

You can change your feelings because

they come from your thoughts.

It doesn't always seem that way.

We're raised up believing that our feelings 

come from What Happens

or What People Say and Do.

We're raised up believing our feeling selves

are at the mercy of all that's outside of us.

Not so.

Feelings are produced by thoughts.

Not by events. Not by other people.

Example:

Let's say Trump is impeached this year.

I'm sure everyone on my email list

is ELATED about this.

But why are you elated?

Trump's impeachment doesn't directly cause elation.

Your average Fox News viewer is NOT elated

when the Racist In Chief loses power.

We are elated because we think things like:

"Trump is terrible."

"Trump is dangerous."

"Trump is unfit to be President."

The Fox News folks are sad/mad, though,

because THEY think things like:

....

Well, TBH I do not know what the hell they think.

I guess things like,

"Immigrants are dangerous."

and

"The world should be terrified of the US."

?

Anyway:

it's our interpretation of the happening

it's how we think about it

that determines how we feel.

Listen up, friends.

This is a superpower,

to be used with care and responsibility.

We'll talk more about it this month,

but for now,

I'd love you to give it a try.

Grab paper & pen, and consider:

Where's a place you are feeling shitty?

What's something that happened

or something someone said

or something you did

that you're feeling bad about?

Zoom in on it in your mind

and ask yourself:

How am I feeling?

Then be brave, and let yourself feel.

Name & write down your feelings.

Next, ask yourself:

What am I thinking and believing

that's making me feel this way?


Write down your thoughts and interpretations

about the shitty situation.

(It might take a while to uncover them.)

Finally, ask yourself:

Why am I choosing to think and feel this way?

And write these answers down, too.

This is the beginning.

This metacognition

this thinking about your thinking

minding your mind

initiates your power to change how you feel.

Look at the situation again

and notice how your feelings about it

are starting to shift

if you let them.

Stay tuned for more steps

coming your way later this week.

natalie millerComment