Slowing down can be scary AF.
Hello good ones,
Do you have any recurring dreams?
I have two.
One of them is the Can't Stop dream.
I'm piloting a vehicle
(usually a car)
and I'm pressing the brakes hard as I can
but I'm not slowing down
and I can't stop.
I never crash
(happily)
I just wake up.
*
Funny enough:
in my waking life,
I have a history
of not even to TRYING to slow down.
Slowing down has been somehow scarier
than simply speeding ahead.
*
I know I'm not alone.
When I teach yoga,
I feel for the lovely students
restless in their savasanas.
These badasses are more comfortable
holding plank pose
or lunging for days
than they are just lying there
doing nothing.
*
Of course, this makes total sense
since our cutlure
values Doing above Being.
Meaning:
we're taught that What We Do
is what makes us Worthy.
Worthy of love
of money
of resources
of rest.
No wonder it can be scary
to p a u s e
let alone S T O P.
*
In my dream,
I want to slow down yet can't
but I never crash.
In my waking life,
(less and less,
but still sometimes if I'm honest)
I resist slowing down
UNTIL I crash.
Get a cold.
Hurt my foot.
Can't sleep.
Etc.
Happily
I'm getting better
at pressing p a u s e
more often
and more gently
in my everyday life.
*
So how does a badass
slow her roll?
Little breaks.
Teensy ones,
more and more often.
Like:
Sitting down to eat.
Having a cup of tea
while looking out the window.
Putting your damn phone away.
(That damn phone is SO FAST).
Reading a chapter of a book
or knitting a few rows
or stretching on the floor
for just 5 minutes
in the middle of the day.
Writing in a journal.
Taking a moment to ask yourself:
How do I feel in my body?
How do I feel in my mind?
How do I feel in my heart?
Lying on the couch
or walking around the block
while breathing on purpose.
*
Expect that - especially at first -
especially if you've been going
full steam ahead
slowing down will be uncomfortable.
Like when the airplane lands
and you strain forward in your seat
as the momentum slows.
And / but ALSO
Trust:
The more often you press pause
The easier it will be to slow down.
The less often you will find yourself
exhausted
numb
auto-piloting
hurling yourself through your life.
The more you press pause
the more you slow down
the more present you will be
for yourself
your beloveds
your feelings
your intuition
your creativity
your whole wild & precious life.
In other words:
slow down
to wake up.