Eat cookies, smash the patriarchy.
Simple but not easy message today:
We don't have bodies.
We ARE bodies.
This idea that You Have a Body?
It's got to go.
It may seem like semantics,
but let me tell you:
the idea that our bodies are vessels
is woven into our culture.
A few months ago, I was having a tough time
recovering from a terrible cold.
I remarked to my therapist
that I was having a difficult time focusing
and getting motivated.
She is excellent, and reminded me:
My body is not separate from my mind.
They are absolutely connected.
If my body struggles, of course my mind will struggle.
My body isn't a vessel in which my mind and soul travel.
My body/mind/soul are me.
The next week, I traveled to California -
still feeling less than 100% -
to lead a big workshop.
As I made three appointments
at the hotel spa
(Three?! Who do you think you are?)
I felt a twinge of guilt
at what felt like overindulgence.
Yes, I'd just traveled across thousands of miles
and three time zones.
Yes, I was about to work all weekend.
Yes, I was still struggling toward wellness.
But I've been taught that my body should need less.
Less of my own attention.
I've been taught that I should be able to Power Through.
I've been taught that my body
is to be controlled.
Made pleasant to others.
That it's more for Everyone Else
than it is for me.
To be honest, that logic helped me make and keep
those three spa appointments.
I wanted to show up well for my students.
I wanted to look good.
I wanted to please them.
after my massage and reflexology and facial,
I remembered what I remember every time
I am generous with my embodied self.
Every time I sleep well and plentifully,
or take time to eat good meals while sitting down,
or put exercise at the top of my to-do list,
or just luxuriate in being embodied on planet Earth,
I feel honored.
My body isn't a vessel
to be steered
whipped into shape.
It isn't a temple
to be made hospitable.
My body is not a container
for me, or for anyone else.
My body is me.
And yours is you.
there's the issue of trust.
Immersed in a world that does not trust women's bodies,
does not authorize our choices,
it makes sense we feel we must control ourselves.
Maybe we don't trust ourselves around food.
Maybe we don't trust ourselves to feel feelings.
Maybe the idea of allowing our whole selves
more felt desire
more allocated time
and more physical space
Expect to feel uncomfortable
when you're being generous with your bodymindsoul.
That's how the racist homophobic ableist patriarchy likes it.
And in the name of declaring women's worth,
in the name of women's integrity and autonomy,
be generous with yourself anyway.
How will you do that today?
I really want to know,
so write & tell me.