A tale of two Natalies.

Happy long weekend, beauties.

I hope you're keeping it as spacious as possible,

and doing/not-doing what you want.

Today, I'm going to tell you a story.

 
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Last year at this time,

I wanted to move and strengthen my body more.

I thought about joining a gym

(I used to LOVE going to the gym)

(I even worked in gyms)

But I talked myself out of it.

"It's getting warmer," I said.

"You can just get outside and walk and bike."

"Bonus: you'll walk the dog more!

And save the planet by driving less!"

I fretted about the money, too.

I really wanted to build strength,

and was curious about working with a trainer, 

but decided that this was WAAAY too expensive.

"You know so much yoga,

and so many bodyweight exercises,"

I told myself.

"If you could just get disciplined,

you'd get stronger right here in your own living room

for free."

That way, I told myself, I'd save time.

"The good gym is 20min away,"

I told myself.

"That's 40min round trip!"

I told myself.

"You need all your time

for your work and family and house."

Well.

Surprise: 

I did NOT walk and bike everywhere.

I did NOT do yoga and bodyweight exercises in my living room.

And I blamed my lack of commitment,

my shoddy self-discipline.

Also? 

For someone who was so concerned about time and money,

I sure wasted a lot of both.

I'd mindlessly amble through the Target aisles,

and leave with ill-fitting tops and a shower curtain I didn't need.

I'd frequently find myself in Facebook-scrolling dazes.

I'd spend dozens of dollars on herbal sleep aids,

and convince myself they were really working.

*

Then, in September, I switched gears.

Why then? I'm not sure.

Partly, I think, it was because I had just led a summer

of feminist group coaching,

and I was acutely aware of how easy it is for women to put demands on ourselves,

and how hard it is for us to ask for support.

Maybe my achy body

just finally hollered loudly enough.

In any case:

I walked into my favorite gym,

bought a membership,

and invested in weekly personal training.

It's changed everything.

I feel better.

I think better.

I sleep better.

When I go to Target for Windex and Post-Its,

I'm there for 10 minutes,

and I leave with Windex and Post-Its.

I learn so much from my trainer, Emily,

and because I happen to love being a student,

I'm extra-inspired to practice what I'm learning

on my own.

Really

this particular self-investment

has paid so many dividends,

in just 8 months.

I am stronger.

Happier.

Best of all, I am more myself.

And that is coming through

in everything I do.

It is so powerful,

I bet you can feel it, too.

*

So, my friend:

What self-investment do you suspect

might help you be your fullest you

in this one wild & precious life?

Have you been talking yourself out of it?

If yes,

What might happen if you decide

that you DO have the time?

That you cannot waste another day

in shoulds and haze and ennui?

And what might happen if you trust

that an investment in your wellbeing

is your wisest-possible investment?

That you DO have the money,

and that your wealth depends on your health,

mental and physical and relational?

That is:

What happens in the Two Tales of You,

and which one do you want to write next?

natalie millerComment