Feminists got no business Faking It.

Hello from Pittsburgh, dearies!

I'm traveling on this Spring Forward day.

I'm here for a workshop on book writing (!)

and fully feeling both super excited and also that

"Do I even belong here
can I do this
will they like me
will I like them
what the hell do I WEAR"


Fairly common advice in this situation

that is

when one is not quite sure one is up to the task,

is to Fake It Til You Make It.

That is my least favorite advice


I have written about this before,

in this piece about Michelle Obama

and her far more empowering approach,

which I shorthanded in 2016 as

Keep Becoming Who You Are.


Today I revisited that piece

to remind myself:

1. Being willing to hold -

and even to SHOW - 

uncertainty and vulnerability

is  f a a a a a a a a a r  more powerful

than pretending you've got it all figured out.


2. Belonging isn't a status.

It's a feeling

that arises when I feel free

to be my whole, evolving self.

Anxiousness and all.

So my friends:

Where are you feeling a little imposter-y?

Where are you becoming

more generous with your talents?

Where are you stretching

to be more visible

or to try something new?

Where are you worried

you might not belong

or might not be up to the task?

Wherever that is for us,

let's trust

that faking it only takes us away from ourselves.

and that's the wrong way to go.


embracing the whole experience

being willing to hold and even to express

the fear / doubt / uncertainty

we feel:

that's the fast hot track

to fully belonging


Fuck faking it.

Let's openly do what all the humans are doing:

make it up as we go along.

natalie miller1 Comment