Your resentfulness is not a character flaw.

It's been coming up in my coaching sessions a lot lately, so:

let's talk about Resentment.

First off, honeybun: it's just such an unpleasant way to move through life.

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Resentment feels terrible.

It causes our bitterness levels to rise,

and our sense of personal agency to plummet.

When we're resentful, we complain. A lot.

We ruminate.

We get reeeeeeeaaallll judgy.

Basically, we take our power and use it for lamenting What's Wrong,

rather than moving towards What We Want.

Why?

Here's my theory:

Resentment arises when we feel our contribution is undervalued.

It comes when an energetic exchange is off-kilter,

because we can see we are giving more than we're receiving.

And it intensifies - even CALCIFIES - the longer we do nothing to address the situation.

And why do we do nothing?

One: HELLO we are already doing way too much didn't you HEAR?

Two: very deep down we question our worthiness of more and better.

Three: so we see the resentment itself as proof of our badness.

It looks like this:

One: I should be getting more credit for the success of this project DAMMIT.

Two: *waiting for someone else to give me credit because I can't find the courage to claim it myself and meanwhile growing more bitter by the day*

Three: Maybe I shouldn't be getting more credit after all, and maybe I'm a bad person even to want it. Certainly, I'm no fun to be around.

Yeah. It's a slippery, mucky slope.

Here's how you get out of it:

First, know that resentment is a sign that an energetic imbalance needs to be addressed.

Second, accept that addressing the energetic imbalance begins with YOU. Nope, that's not fair. But it does get you out of victim mode and into a self-honoring and self-acknowledging place.

For me, addressing the energetic imbalance starts with questions like:

Why am I overgiving?

Why aren't I asking for more credit/compensation/support?

What do I really want in this situation?

Third, love yourself through that whole inquiry, and the answers and feelings it brings up.

Your resentment is not a character flaw.

It is a clarion call for better treatment everywhere,

especially within your own head and heart.

love,

Natalie